A Beach for Old(er) People
I’m not old, but I’m old for my age. I’ve come to realize this recently: I can’t hang like I used to. You see, back in the day (meaning: college), I’d head to Clearwater beach with a group of friends to party all day and all night. I’d frolic about in the waves, flirt with boys, challenge keg stand competitions, go without eating as to not interfere with my buzz, and then eventually crash in a friend’s hotel room that I didn’t pay for. Ah yes, those were the good ol’ days.
But now, that’s all changed. Before I ever think of going away for the weekend, I need to have hotel reservations set, I need to know when and where my next meal will be, and I need a nap if I day-drink. Yes, this is what I’ve become.
Two weekends ago, we decided to “let loose.” With no hotel reservation and no real plan, we headed to that same Clearwater I used to call my beach (ha). We are so crazy. Once we got there, I determined it was too crowded. I don’t even know who I am anymore…
So we continued on to Indian Rocks Beach – a nice, quiet beach with families and old people. Perfect.
The day started out innocent enough – I drank a few cold brews, splashed in the water and soaked up the sun. But as the beer continued to flow like wine, my old self snuck up on me and I was ready for a real drink. Liquor, to be exact. And any good sun-loving body knows liquor and sun do not mix. Apparently, my old self doesn’t believe this to be so…
To my surprise, I did quite well. I didn’t need a nap, I wasn’t cranky, and I actually wanted to keep the party going. I guess it’s pretty easy when you’re around great friends and the largest chicken wing in the world…
Indian Rocks Beach, Florida, is a great destination for old people because there are no people there.
Rum Runners provide your daily recommended amount of fruit, so it’s a safe drink for old people.
Hammocks are ideal for out-of-shape oldies.
This is not a good sign if you are old, but by this time of day you should be too lit to be bothered by the weather.
People of all ages enjoy sunsets. Especially at the beach. At a bar.
Exhibit A of “old self”: Trying to hug a giant Hooters’ wing.
Exhibit B of “old self”: involving ManFriend.
Happy Weekend
Another long day week, another dolla. I’m going to the beach this weekend to get away from it all. I’ve been exceptionally stressed out at work, so I think it’s about time I take a break. No computer, no housework, no nothing – just sunshine, waves and margaritas.
Photo by Patrick Cline via ***
My pick for Favorite Song Friday is…
Death Cab for Cutie’s “You Are A Tourist” – because that’s what I fully intend to be this weekend…
Maroon Food
There are 3 things you need to know about me:
First, I love to eat. If you’ve seen me in a bathing suit recently, you know this.
Second, I like an adult beverage from time-to-time (ok, more often than not). If you have seen me on most Saturday mornings, you can assume that as well.
Third, maroon is my favorite color. Look at my website. Hellooo.
This brings me to Maroon Food.
The other day I was really craving a Monte Cristo sandwich. I haven’t had one in a few years, mainly because they are way over-the-top in the “Make-Me-A-Fatty” category. Ham, cheese, raspberry jam, brioche bread and then FRIED in hot oil. Sounds glorious, but for a girl who will continue to struggle with her weight for the rest of her life (thanks, mom), I can’t afford to put myself in that situation. Especially in the summertime – I just can’t do that to the pool patrons – it’s just not right.
So, it was time to get creative.
Introducing salted chocolate’s Skinny Monte Cristo Sandwich…
- English muffin, toasted
- Spread one half with low-fat cream cheese, and the other half with low-cal raspberry jam
- Top with turkey breast
- Add a slice of jalapeno Havarti cheese (for a spicy kick)
- Put it all together and enjoy!
It’s delicious – I promise…
Another Maroon Food favorite of mine – and it’s a new one – is my friend, Johanna’s, White-Girl Sangria. First of all, I love the name of this drink. (Almost as much as I love “Purple Drank”) Why? Because it says exactly what it actually is, and a white girl like me loves this version of the glorious Latina staple. (And Johanna is Latina, so she can get away with calling it this – ha). It’s so easy to make, and SO easy to drink – it’s dangerous. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Johanna’s White-Girl Sangria
- 1.5 Liters a red wine (we chose Cabernet)
- 3/4 of a liter of Diet Cranberry Ginger Ale
- Frozen fruit: strawberries, blueberries and pineapple
- Add all ingredients into 1 large pitcher and stir well (DO NOT ADD ICE)
- Pour into glass, and THEN add the ice
- Enjoy irresponsibly
I guess one could technically argue this isn’t food. Need I remind you that there is wine-soaked fruit involved in this, people?!?!
Special Note: I’ve officially made it to Post #100 – and it doesn’t appear I’m giving up anytime soon. Great excuse to celebrate with some White-Girl Sangria if you ask me! Cheers!
Reader Request: Rope Belt
A reader wrote on the salted chocolate Facebook page recently asking for help. Ask, and you shall receive. Just one of many reasons you should become a fan. :)
Reader Request:
“Help! I just bought a rope belt and I have no clue how to wear it or what to wear it with.”
Solution:
Rope belts are a fun and easy accessory to add to your wardrobe, but it’s important to find the correct way to wear one. And this is not one of them:
It’s definitely is on-trend for the summer because it gives a nautical feel to your outfit, but my girl in the picture above is going a little overboard (pun intended). If you want to make sure you’re wearing your rope belt in the most fashionable of ways, I suggest following these simples rules to pull it off:
Wear it the way a belt should be worn (through the loops and all), on semi-high-waisted shorts. On normal shorts it may look lost and also gives the impression you’re just trying to hold your pants up. Not a good look. Here’s a great example of a definite TO DO:
Add it to that flowy dress you love, but you don’t wear anymore because someone congratulated you on your pregnancy – and you’re not pregnant. We all have those dresses. Give yourself a waist. Curves should always be accentuated, and a rope belt is the perfect tool to help show them off. Like this:
Don’t tie the rope belt into a bow. Not only will it look like a limp penis of some sorts, it will also just look ridiculous. Tie it in a knot. That’s what you’re supposed to do with a rope in the first place, isn’t it? Pair it with a skirt, and you’re golden:
Dress up your long shirts – especially if it’s a boyfriend shirt. A rope belt comes in handy here. Not only does it give you a waist and/or hips, but it makes the look more feminine. I like pairing long shirts with short skirts, and a rope belt ties it all together:
What other ways do you like to wear a rope belt?
Happy Weekend
So I think it’s safe to say that based on what went down last weekend, this week was supposed to get better, right? Wrong! It got worse. Amongst other crappy things, I got into a car accident yesterday. Not a crazy amount of damage, and I’m still alive, but really? I’m seriously hoping this weekend is a lot better than the last. Cheers to that.
Saturday I plan to do a deep-clean of the house – I’ll be alone all weekend so I’m guessing this would be the best time to do it. I planned on cleaning last weekend, but I had a horrible hangover on Saturday that left me pretty much useless. It was necessary to do that to myself though, I had to drink myself to happiness on Friday because I knew what I was going to endure on Sunday at the bridal expo. I just didn’t think it would be that bad.
In order to lift my spirits, I’ve decided on a happy song for My Favorite Song Friday…
MGMT “Kids”
Not much to see there, but it’s definitely an ear-party.
FYI – I had some friendly backlash from last week’s Favorite Song. Sorry Stanford, although I appreciate your readership, I will not compromise my song selections just for you. I maintain that my pick was amazing, as per usual. Athank you.
Hope everyone has a fabu weekend!
salted chocolate | life with a dash of flavor 