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A Beach for Old(er) People

August 2, 2011

I’m not old, but I’m old for my age. I’ve come to realize this recently: I can’t hang like I used to. You see, back in the day (meaning: college), I’d head to Clearwater beach with a group of friends to party all day and all night. I’d frolic about in the waves, flirt with boys, challenge keg stand competitions, go without eating as to not interfere with my buzz, and then eventually crash in a friend’s hotel room that I didn’t pay for. Ah yes, those were the good ol’ days.

But now, that’s all changed. Before I ever think of going away for the weekend, I need to have hotel reservations set, I need to know when and where my next meal will be, and I need a nap if I day-drink. Yes, this is what I’ve become.

Two weekends ago, we decided to “let loose.” With no hotel reservation and no real plan, we headed to that same Clearwater I used to call my beach (ha). We are so crazy. Once we got there, I determined it was too crowded. I don’t even know who I am anymore

So we continued on to Indian Rocks Beach – a nice, quiet beach with families and old people. Perfect.

The day started out innocent enough – I drank a few cold brews, splashed in the water and soaked up the sun. But as the beer continued to flow like wine, my old self  snuck up on me and I was ready for a real drink. Liquor, to be exact. And any good sun-loving body knows liquor and sun do not mix. Apparently, my old self doesn’t believe this to be so…

To my surprise, I did quite well. I didn’t need a nap, I wasn’t cranky, and I actually wanted to keep the party going. I guess it’s pretty easy when you’re around great friends and the largest chicken wing in the world…


Indian Rocks Beach, Florida, is a great destination for old people because there are no people there.

Rum Runners provide your daily recommended amount of fruit, so it’s a safe drink for old people.

Hammocks are ideal for out-of-shape oldies.

This is not a good sign if you are old, but by this time of day you should be too lit to be bothered by the weather.

People of all ages enjoy sunsets. Especially at the beach. At a bar.

Exhibit A of “old self”: Trying to hug a giant Hooters’ wing.

Exhibit B of “old self”: involving ManFriend.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. Erica permalink
    August 4, 2011 10:27 am

    Your hillarious Ray!!! Indian Rocks beach is awesome and very beautiful, I may have to change my wedding plans and do it there instead!! :) Glad you brought yourself back and had fun!! Love ya!!

  2. August 3, 2011 3:45 pm

    Did beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano? Sounds like paradise<3

  3. Bruce permalink
    August 3, 2011 8:02 am

    You forgot to mention the portopotty on thr beach for old prople the can’t hold it in..i’m sure thats a great smell for the beach. old people can’t smell right?

    • August 3, 2011 1:20 pm

      by port-o-potty i asumme you’re referring to the ocean, right?

  4. Raechel permalink
    August 3, 2011 7:56 am

    Oh Bia, this post really brought me back!! Love Love!! :)


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