Rainbow Bridge

Sorry I have been MIA for quite some time, but I just really haven’t had the desire to write… or do anything for that matter. I have some sad news to share, my dog, Brandi, passed away on June 1st. She was 3 months shy of her 11th birthday.

It’s taken me over a month to write this post, and even still, I’m having trouble finding the right words to say. I can hardly even see the computer screen right now, my eyes are filled with tears and sadness. She was my whole life – my best companion, my pal, the love of my life. It’s hard to describe the human-dog relationship, but she was such a part of our family, I even went as far as calling her my daughter. :)

We adopted Brandi when she was 1-year-old from a local Vet (who happened to be our Vet from our previous dog, Bessie, 4 years prior).  She was originally my brother’s dog, but after he went away for college and my mom started working more hours, I became her new mom. We hit it off right from the start. I’d take her for walks, she was a frequent host of many college parties I threw with my roommates, and everyone loved her – especially me. I must admit, it did take her awhile to feel comfortable. She was a little skirmish, and hardly trusted anyone (Lord knows what happened to her in the 1st year of her life), but she slowly came around – sleeping with me in bed, letting me give her treats, and eventually letting me pick her up and carry her around like my Baby.

Many people came in and out of our lives, but when I met ManFiance, I could tell he was perfect “Dad” material. It took them both some time to warm up to each other, but once they did, they were inseparable (except for when it was bedtime, she ALWAYS slept with me – he moved around too much). It was quite obvious they had fallen in love, too. And so began our life as a happy family of 3 – taking trips together with her in her bed in the entire back seat of my car, eating dinner on the couch with her staring up at us until we gave her a bite (which we always did – couldn’t resist those eyes), and just lounging around the house on a quiet day – she always being by our side.

Brandi was a lover a food – everyone who knew her knew this. “Driven By Hunger” we all used to say lol, and it was so true – she’d do anything for a bite, even if it cost her getting smacked on her butt. She also loved to be inside – we’d joke and say she was the worst Beagle ever – never cared to be outside, hated going on walks, could care less if a rabbit was in our yard, and always need to lay in at least 4-5 blankets. You could say, she liked the finer things in life, and boy did we accommodate. She was our everything.

When we first realized she was sick, she stopped eating her food. I changed it up, thinking she was bored. And although that worked for a few months, she gradually ate less and less, until she barely ate at all. We took her to her Vet, and blood tests revealed she had kidney failure. This was heartbreaking. We did everything we could – consulted holistic vets, gave her medicines and IVs, cooked chicken, rice, eggs, hamburger, soup, anything. We decided to leave her at the Vet for a few days for IV therapy, thinking we might have caught it soon enough to prolong her life. After 6 days in the hospital, we brought her home. She seemed so happy to be home.

After 2 days, no sleep, and countless times trying to get her to eat, we brought her back to the Vet to get her levels checked. They were through the roof – there was nothing else to do. ManFiance called me at work, telling me it was time to put her down. That was the worst day of my life.

We brought her to the Vet, and I’ll never forget this, our Vet said to me as she hugged me, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix her.” But she did fix her. For years, Brandi was so sick we couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, but this Vet did. It changed Brandi’s life and ours, and the last few years of Brandi’s life – she was the happiest and healthiest she had ever been. It was a blessing finding this Vet, and I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else.

Brandi died peacefully in my arms. She fell right into me and I knew she was gone. A sense of relief washed over me, but I am still filled with sadness. I think about her every day. I cry every time someone mentions her name. I ask when I will stop crying but I haven’t. Time will heal all wounds, but for now, I’ll wait until we meet again. Over the Rainbow Bridge.